Let me clarify that the FUNK and the heat are NOT related

Do I have to PASS OUT from lack of oxygen to my BRAIN before these people will end the soap strike!?  Coast is your FRIEND… Mitchum will not HARM you!  Should I take a page out of Ghandi G’s book and stop  BREATHING until they end this madness? Listen, when I referenced the funk and the heat together in my Paris Metropolitain “SLAVESHIP” blog it may have been misleading.  Yesterday was rainy and chilly, most people were wearing jackets, and still it was the day that I experienced some of the WORST funk of the summer.  Seriously now, I’m talking about Paris, France, not a SHANTY-TOWN in South Africa or some other part of the world where people live in GRAVE poverty literally without a pot to piss in.  THAT would be understandable, but no, these are people who probably PISS themselves for FUN!  It’s just not fair because these are NORMAL looking people – that’s the SUCKER punch.  You never see it coming.  These are people who most likely have homes and family and friends – which makes me REALLY mad because everyone is just acting like nothing is wrong – THEY DON’T SMELL A THING!  With three tech gadgets on your person and $150. jeans, you’re not hardly homeless.  And in Paris, if you have a form of shelter, it most likely includes access to RUNNING WATER.  So go ahead – I know it’s painful – but take a step in the right direction – trade in that IPOD for a bar of LAVA.  How are you wearing Diesel jeans, chatting on an I-Phone and toying with your latest piercing (nose, lip, eyebrow, chin) but you haven’t got ,89 centime for some DEGREE?  Yes, I’m VENTING but understand that last night was unique, even for here.  I had an ENTOURAGE of funk on the bus.  At first I couldn’t tell from which direction it was coming until I realized I’d been triple teamed: there was Mr. Man to my right in the track suit kindly letting out puffs of STANK everytime he shifted, Grandpa on my left evidently doused in l’eau de HOT BUTT  and Lover Boy in front of me with his RAW underarm up around his girl, whom I gather started HIS soap and deoderant strike the day he was born.  So you’ll excuse my bitching…


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I've got a smart mouth and a big heart - it's a FACT.

3 thoughts on “Let me clarify that the FUNK and the heat are NOT related”

  1. Too funny! Maybe you should do community service and pass out soap. Or just come home to the sweet smelling US of A. Hope to see you soon. 🙂

    Your showered and deodoranted (?) friend,

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