I could’t get my plate in the microwave fast enough. I was “after workout” hungry – where your muscles tremble slightly – demanding to be fed. The “ding” actually produced a sort of Pavlovian reaction. My food was ready and as I pulled it out of the little black box, it hit me – THE AIR CONDITIONER WAS STILL ON.
OK, I live in the city in a LOVELY older building and – yes- I live without central air. And for WHATEVER reason, the simultaneous use of two energy hogging appliances can, and usually does, blow the circuit. Whatever. Anyway, the point is that while I FEARED the circuit would blow, I had never ACTUALLY TRIED to use the microwave without turning off the AC first. Spurred on by fear, I engaged in an entire PRODUCTION of futility (turning off, unplugging, plugging, turning on – and that’s just BEFORE I heat the food) everytime I wanted to microwave something. And then just like that, by total accident (and extreme hunger) I found there was nothing to fear…..well, you know.
And now I’m bothered by the nagging question of how many OTHER areas of my life may not be moving forward in a normal manner due to the silent presence of this senseless and mainly unnoticed CANCER that is fear….
It’s really disturbing.