an accidental lesson in fear

I could’t get my plate in the microwave fast enough. I was “after workout” hungry – where your muscles tremble slightly – demanding to be fed.  The “ding” actually produced a sort of Pavlovian reaction.  My food was ready and as I pulled it out of the little black box, it hit me – THE AIR CONDITIONER WAS STILL ON. 

 OK, I live in the city in a LOVELY older building and – yes- I live without central air.  And for WHATEVER reason, the simultaneous use of two energy hogging appliances can, and usually does, blow the circuit.  Whatever.  Anyway, the point is that while I FEARED the circuit would blow, I had never ACTUALLY TRIED to use the microwave without turning off the AC first.  Spurred on by fear, I engaged in an entire PRODUCTION of futility  (turning off, unplugging, plugging, turning on – and that’s just BEFORE I heat the food) everytime I wanted to microwave something.   And then just like that, by total accident (and extreme hunger) I found there was nothing to fear…..well, you know.  

And now I’m bothered by the nagging question of how many OTHER areas of my life may not be moving forward in a normal manner due to the silent presence of this senseless and mainly unnoticed CANCER that is fear….

It’s really disturbing.


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I've got a smart mouth and a big heart - it's a FACT.

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