was someone gonna tell me?

He worried that Kainene would call Madu and tell him what had happened, and Madu would laugh and say, “He was a mistake from the beginning, leave him, leave him, leave him.” Finally, before he fell asleep, Moliere’s words came to him, strangely comforting, Unbroken happiness is a bore, it should have ups and downs. – Half of a Yellow Sun, Chimamanda Ngoze Adichie

…and is it even true?


My culture screwed me

…abandon unrealizable fantasies for the actual, deep pleasures that “real life” can afford….real life consists in the things that make it worth living. The real challenge that confronts each man and woman, then, can never be that of finding perfect happiness; rather, it must be that of creating some form of possible happiness – achieving self-respect and the partial realization of one’s hopes and aspirations. In this life, no one can expect more. -Introduction to Edith Wharton’s The Age of Innocence by Cynthia Griffin Wolff

Unfortunately we American kids are largely taught to “never settle for less than perfect”… goes for partner, career, house, car, body, kids – all that.  So screwed.

I heart Oriana Fallaci

And all of the sudden, I started crying. In a silent composed way, mind you. No moans, no hiccups. But Father noticed it all the same and in order to help me, to calm me down, poor father, did the wrong thing. He gave me a powerful slap, he stared me in the eyes and said, “A girl does not, must not, cry.” So, since the 25 of September 1943, I do not cry. Thank God if sometimes my eyes get damp and my throat chokes a little. Inside myself, however, I cry more than those who cry with tears. Rather often, the words I write are nothing but tears. And what I wrote after the 11th of September was in reality an unrestrainable cry. Over the alive, over the dead. Over those who seem alive and instead are dead. Dead because they have no balls to change, to become people worthy of respect. – The Rage and The Pride, Oriana Fallaci

Scary how relevant this remains

“…what the American public wants is a tragedy with a happy ending…” “A tragedy with a happy ending” is exactly what the child wants before he goes to sleep…, but as long as he needs it he remains a child, and the world he lives in is a nursery-world. Things are not always and everywhere well with the world, and each man has to find it out as he grows up. It is the finding out that makes him grow, and until he has faced the fact and digested the lesson he is not grown up… The same thing is true for countries and peoples. The “sheltered life,” whether of the individual or of the nation, must either have a violent and tragic awakening – or never wake up at all.– French Ways and Their Meaning, Edith Wharton

literary love

I just love words for the power they carry. I’m talking a great Fra Diavlo sauce, crusty baquette and a full-bodied wine – love.  A – back up in the middle of the night into that warm body that wraps you up on contact – love. I love them so much that I can easily get so caught up in them, and in my own reactions to them, neutralizing any and all attempts to communicate their awesomeness.